I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
