I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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