what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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