she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
