Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize