Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
