Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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