I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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