I hate your face
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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