..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
