she was so not down for the gang bang
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
