I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
