new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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