That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
