Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
