how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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