There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize