so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize