i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
