i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
