Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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