and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
