Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize