There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
