dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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