No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
