when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
