just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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