i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
