Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
