i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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