I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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