i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
