Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
