That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
