Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
