sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
