I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
