just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize