If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
