Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
