We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
