i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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