brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
