she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
