she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
