Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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