Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
