i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
