I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
