what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Still dying that you shit outside
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
