plz talk dirty to me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
