I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
