Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize