We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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