so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
