it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
