are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
