I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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