Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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