Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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